“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done,..”
“He won’t be able to communicate with you.”
“He won’t show you any affection.”
“He won’t be able to attend a regular school.”
“He won’t be able to tell you he loves you.”
These are some of the things a physician told me when my son was diagnosed with autism. I did not take it very well. I felt his life was tremendously altered from what I envisioned for my namesake. As he got older, my heart broke each time I played basketball with kids his age and he had no interest. My heart sank each time kids in school or church celebrated birthdays and never invited my son. I watched from a distance as people tried to understand what’s wrong with him when he repeated his favorite line from a movie over and over again. It took me a while, but after several pity parties I finally realized that Satan was trying to harm me by making me focus on everything I thought was wrong instead of focusing on everything God made right.
The fact of the matter is Vann is full of joy! He helps me to stop, enjoy, and appreciate the small things. I tried to force Vann into our world, when in actuality; his world is a lot better to live in. I always thought I’d have a son who loved basketball as much as I did, but instead God blessed me with a gamer and a bowler. He pays no attention to those people that glare at him wondering what’s wrong with him. He's too busy enjoying life. His feelings aren’t hurt when he’s not invited to birthday parties like mine were. I realize now that God’s plan is bigger and better than the plan I had and Vann is happy.
God made Vann perfect the way he is.
The thoughts the devil placed in my spirit almost made me miss an opportunity to increase my faith in God, to trust in His plan, and really appreciate life and not take it for granted. Spend time with those who have visible and invisible disabilities. If you have children, take time to listen to them. Tell them you love them and show them affection. Vann may not talk a lot, but he sure can tell me he doesn’t want to go to school! And he does show me affection, attends a regular school where he’s loved, and tells me he loves me—and I know it’s all because of Jesus.
I have no idea what little Vann will become in the future, if he’ll marry, become an Alpha, or own his own business, but I do know he will be happy and his life will be great because He is God’s gift to me and the world. You’re awesome lil’ man!
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